thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
