I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
