was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
