so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
