If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
