Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
