We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
