Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Bring me that man meat
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
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