Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
