I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
My pussy is not your playground.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
