Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have already put on my inside pants.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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