I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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