She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
