his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
