i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
