You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
