i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
