New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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