Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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