Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
