Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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