I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
