I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
