before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
