Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
