Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We got so high we made milksteak
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Randomize
