His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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