whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
