Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
