You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
