either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Dignity is for republicans.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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