I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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