So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
