you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
