Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
