the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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