for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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