I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
