he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
