dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
