Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
