Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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