it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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