so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
