Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
