I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
