Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
