yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Randomize
