walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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