Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Randomize
